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Why Worry?

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Howdy folks! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog as I’ve been focusing more on my Step-Dad Diary site (www.stepdaddiary.com) which I hope you’ll take the time to check out.

Nevertheless, this topic has been on my heart recently so I thought I’d share as I’m sure many of you are in the same boat. The bottom line up front is that I’m a worrier! There are healthy levels of worry, I believe, but I think I walk the thin line of unhealthy worry.

With another child on the way I worry that I will be able to provide for my newborn throughout his years as have for my other biological son and two Step-Children (which I gladly do as their fathers don’t really step up to the plate all the time.)  I worry that my job might be gone tomorrow (which it always could as I manage a non-profit,) or that my wife and I won’t continue to grow old together and enjoy each other like we do now.

Financially, I know that we can make it one way or another through military retirement, taking on extra jobs if need be or whatever but those realistic facts don’t always sink in when I wish they would would.  Rather, I find myself letting negative thoughts or worst-case scenarios take control of my thoughts and when they take control of my thoughts they often take control of my mood which resinates throughout the home or everyone around me.

I try my best at all times to remain positive but we all get into a slump.  It’s when we get into that slump or “bad place” that we need to count on our friends, spouses, or loved ones to give us a little pat on the back and just say “you know what man, everything is going to be alright!”

It’s  so simple to do and we should look for others experiencing the same types of thoughts and support them.  In supporting them, it turns out to be a win-win situation in that we start to believe in ourselves as well.

Even writing about it, as I am clearly doing here, makes me feel better even though I doubt it will be seen by many.  Perhaps one person will be able to read it, relate, and know that things are always going to be fine.

Worrying does no good, what will be will be.  We can only be proactive and make the best decisions we think we can at any given time. If something unexpected bad happens we’ll deal with it when the time comes.

Wow…it’s nice to be able to have a venue to share this stuff.  I hope you always focus on the good and choose not to worry when there’s really nothing you can do about what MIGHT happen down the road!

In the meantime, take good care!worry

Juggling Life!

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JugglingLife

“Juggling work and parental responsibilities is no easy task, but I’m trying my  best and just like everything else there are good days and there are bad days.” – Ali Landry

There are so many things going on from day to day between family, work, obligations, hobbies, etc…that it’s often hard to manage everything at once.  I always hear that I need to set a list of priorities and work from there but that it difficult in itself.  For example; Quality time with my Kids and family need to be of the highest priority but how can I put that above going to work and fulfilling the needs of my job at the highest level possible.

Sometimes, that’s easy as the Kids are gone and I can focus solely on work (which sometimes requires me to develop presentations, attend functions, etc… on weekends) but that’s okay because the Kids may be gone, my Wife at work and me home alone to focus.  Other times that’s not as easy as I may have focus my efforts on the same types of task while my Kids are home looking for some quality time and attention. 

The bottom line is that it’s doable.  Doable in terms of “do what you can when you can do it!” Maybe I don’t have time to engage in my hobbies one day or week but that’s okay, there will be time at some point.  I had plenty of “free” time this weekend to do just that but I was feeling under the weather with a sore throat and sinus pain (seems to be going around recently…especially in my home!) That’s just life…and I couldn’t foresee that coming but it did and I dealt with it.  So rather than sit and bask in my facial misery, I watched a couple movies with the kids and even went so far as to start watching episodes of “Once Upon a Time” with my wife and Step-Daughter…pretty girly fairy tale series but we all seemed to enjoy it  nevertheless.  This isn’t our normal genre of flicks but we all kinda got into it and really enjoyed both the series on Netflix and the time we were spending together.  Zack was a little too “cool” to watch it with us but that’s understandable as he is 14 years old and a boy so I can’t blame him in the least.

There’s always so much going on in our home on a daily basis, especially during the week between dance classes, football practice and games, work, doctors’ appointments, household chores, etc…that it really is difficult to set a list of priorities.  It really does take some mastery of juggling these things but above all, working as a team with Lisa to make it all happen is essential.

Perhaps setting a list of priorities at the beginning of each day is more beneficial than trying to set an ongoing list that stands firm.  Values are something that don’t have change such as service, ethics, manners, God, love, etc… but maybe setting a daily priority task is better than trying to set a priority task and leaving it alone.  Maybe I can set a list of priorities for a few days or even a week but they might need some tweaking or adjusting as the time goes by…we’ll see because that’s what I am going to try and do! 

I know one “priority” that doesn’t require me juggling, just requires me to ease up a bit (as I know I’ve said before) in my own home is to stop being so “knit-picky”…that’s really not going over so well and I know I should save that sort of stuff for when I really need to “bust it out” otherwise it might not be quite as effective!

Anyway, happy “Mastering” your juggling Step-Dads! Let me know how it all works out for you or if you have any advice for The Step-Dad in training! Hit me at brett@stepdaddiary.com .

 I’ve been doing my best to keep the spam emails and comments down so I moderate them all before they’re posted but rest assured…if something good comes along, I’ll be sure to re-post or share accordingly!

Share the Load!

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“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne

It’s that the truth! Lean over to pick up 25 pounds and you just might hurt your back to a great degree. If you squat, grab that same load, and stand straight you then you’ll likely end up with no problems at all. Funny how that all works!

The bottom line is that it’s not necessarily the task at hand that can wear you out either physically or mentally, but how you choose to either handle or in some cases, not handle it!

We all have burdens, trials, tasks, and otherwise that we are either responsible for on a daily basis or that may pop up out of the blue and strike us from the blind side. Often times we take these battles full on or without asking for help and overwhelm ourselves to the extent that we feel lost or even helpless. We sometimes tend to carry with us unnecessary weight that we just don’t need or can handle alone.

Why not stop, see what’s wearing on us or beating us down, think of alternate means of addressing the issue at hand, ask for help when we need it and break adversities down into small, more manageable tasks or “chunks”…smaller more “light” loads seems to be a great way to carry the “bigger” heavier and potentially damaging load or burden you may be facing.

For example, maybe you’re practicing or preparing for a 10 mile run. In the past the furthest you’ve run without stopping may have been 5 miles. So, rather than go straight from 5 to 10 miles (which you would likely not be able to accomplish with ease) you decide to start early and build your stamina 1.5 miles at a time. You run 5 miles for a while…kick it up a notch to 6.5 miles for a couple runs, then 8…then 9.5 or even 10 and keep on going.

You get the point. Don’t be overwhelmed by looking at a single task without seeing how you can break it down into more small, manageable tasks that won’t be such of a trial. I have found that in trying to manage one large task that I might fail in the accomplishment of that mission, at least the first time, and though I like to get back up and try again it was a little disheartening to fail the first time.

Over time I have become unashamed to ask for help of take small steps to get a job done…sort of the “crawl, walk, run” theme we so often hear about and it seems to work out great!

Give it a shot! Just a thought!

crawl-walk-run-fly

What’s Your Path?

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“Don’t go where the path may lead; Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – R. W. Emerson

At the ripe age of 26 (give or take a decade 😉 this is something I think about often just not in words that may not be so eloquent.

It seems to me that many embark on multiple endeavors with great intentions and perhaps hopes of grandeur but fail to put much forward thought into their noble efforts. Where will it lead? What is the ultimate end-state? Is there an end-state? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to leave behind when you’re long gone?

I am the first to admit that there is a lot to be said for taking a step forward without spending a lifetime thinking about what may or may not transpire. If you wait and think too long you might not end up doing anything at all and that’s no way to live.

That being said I struggle internally with the right time to make the leap in a direction that I know I have been called by a higher power to go. I know it seems counter intuitive to many as if I know I have been called to achieve a mission you may wonder why I don’t…I have that same question sometimes.

The answer is that I calculate and analyze just about everything. I want to ensure that when I take on a great challenge that it will leave the ultimate impression which I intended. It’s gotta be done right and at the right time. The last thing I want to lose is credibility from those whom have put their faith in me.

I want to make a difference and I fully intend on doing so. In doing that I will give my full effort to one dream and make my family, friends, loved ones, heroes, but most of all myself proud! I will engage in my calculated dreams full force and not step on anyone along the way. I will maintain the ethical code which I have been thought since birth and carried with me throughout my career.

The dreams I aspire to accomplish will come true with work, honesty, integrity and everything that goes along with that. Sure, some things can happen by taking other routes but that’s not me; That’s not what I’m about!

I will leave a trail that others can trod if they choose do so…though I hope they don’t! Everyone has their own dreams and goals that probably aren’t exactly aligned with mine and I think that’s great. I want everyone to go where they are compelled, do what they dream and hopefully leave a positive impression on this great world.

A little longer post than I normally throw out there but the quote above was just that compelling to me…and so here ya go!

– Later

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The Stars Are In You

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“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Correction without encouragement and reinforcement in someone’s action, someone with good intentions just trying their hardest to make things in life better can cause bitterness and resentment. Why not make a “suggestion,” lift someone up and help them in their honorable quest?!? Sounds like a better option to me!

Rest assured that you’re doing great!
~Brett

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