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Why Worry?

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Howdy folks! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog as I’ve been focusing more on my Step-Dad Diary site (www.stepdaddiary.com) which I hope you’ll take the time to check out.

Nevertheless, this topic has been on my heart recently so I thought I’d share as I’m sure many of you are in the same boat. The bottom line up front is that I’m a worrier! There are healthy levels of worry, I believe, but I think I walk the thin line of unhealthy worry.

With another child on the way I worry that I will be able to provide for my newborn throughout his years as have for my other biological son and two Step-Children (which I gladly do as their fathers don’t really step up to the plate all the time.)  I worry that my job might be gone tomorrow (which it always could as I manage a non-profit,) or that my wife and I won’t continue to grow old together and enjoy each other like we do now.

Financially, I know that we can make it one way or another through military retirement, taking on extra jobs if need be or whatever but those realistic facts don’t always sink in when I wish they would would.  Rather, I find myself letting negative thoughts or worst-case scenarios take control of my thoughts and when they take control of my thoughts they often take control of my mood which resinates throughout the home or everyone around me.

I try my best at all times to remain positive but we all get into a slump.  It’s when we get into that slump or “bad place” that we need to count on our friends, spouses, or loved ones to give us a little pat on the back and just say “you know what man, everything is going to be alright!”

It’s  so simple to do and we should look for others experiencing the same types of thoughts and support them.  In supporting them, it turns out to be a win-win situation in that we start to believe in ourselves as well.

Even writing about it, as I am clearly doing here, makes me feel better even though I doubt it will be seen by many.  Perhaps one person will be able to read it, relate, and know that things are always going to be fine.

Worrying does no good, what will be will be.  We can only be proactive and make the best decisions we think we can at any given time. If something unexpected bad happens we’ll deal with it when the time comes.

Wow…it’s nice to be able to have a venue to share this stuff.  I hope you always focus on the good and choose not to worry when there’s really nothing you can do about what MIGHT happen down the road!

In the meantime, take good care!worry

Time Flies

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timeflies

“Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.” – Robert Orben

Yes indeed, time sure does fly by in so many ways!  It’s amazing to watch things change all around us, especially our Kids.  Sometimes we inadvertently miss crucial moments or dismiss the small things which prove just how old our Children are getting or what’s really going on in their lives, or even our own!

One small, but significant example is my little dance diva, Aleah, just got a new pair of girlie “Jordans!” Never in a million years would I have thought she would want anything of the sort or run around afterward saying “ Whaaat? Whaaat?” but it happened just before my eyes.  Now she looks like a cute little hip-hop dancer which she hated less than a year ago!  I’m still baffled as to how this transformation took place or what sparked this transformation but I’m good with it!

Luke now has a new iPod and is getting so technically savvy at the age of six that it’s amazing!  The other day I tried to FaceTime him but was unable to so I called his Mom.  She asked him if he had his wi-fi on apparently he didn’t which was the problem. So, he turned it on and we were able to chat “face-to-face.”  I asked him if he knew what wi-fi was and he explained it to me well and further explained that he turns it off and on depending on where he is and also ensures his Bluetooth is off to “conserve battery life.”  Who would have thought that a six year old guy would have known what he was explaining to me.  Heck, there are adults out there who don’t know some of that lingo.

Zack, the teen, knows a so much about many things, technically and otherwise (though he chooses not to use that knowledge from time to time) and seems to gain more knowledge each day.  He’s also growing like a bean sprout (which I’m hoping will cease soon before he eats us out of house and home ;-)  ) Nevertheless, he’s changing on a daily basis as well in so many different ways.

As my Kids’ grow and change I have to remember to allow them to change accordingly, become themselves, but also to steer then in the right direction.  Not in a militant fashion (unless it’s called for) but rather in a way that lets them know that what they choose to do now and the effort they devote to different things will ultimately help or undermine their future.  It’s up to them to choose what’s really important and what they want to focus on.

I am going to do my part to ensure they know and understand the “cost-benefit analysis” of what they choose to do and ensure they are doing at least the things they are supposed to do…get decent grades, be respectful, keep their word, etc…but in the long run they are going to who they want to be and do what they want to do…within reason.

My goal is to help guide their way.  The time sure is flying by and before they know it, they’ll be on their own wondering if they’ve made the right choices.  I will ensure they have a kit bag full of all the information and guidance I can possibly give them before that time!

My Son and Step-Kids deserve at least that much from me and I won’t let them down!

I welcome any and all thoughts you have on this subject!

The Overflowing Cup

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A random thought…it’s amazing!

It’s amazing how we hear so many sayings, phrases, quotes, etc…and think to ourselves; “Sounds good, but yeah right, like that’s how life really is!” The truth is that maybe, just maybe, those words of inspiration and hope we hear so often or see on posters really are true!

I propose that they are. Not only do I propose that thought but I know it!

The one that got me going today was the truth that, sure enough, just when you stop looking and trying to find that perfect thing, person, or bit of hope it falls right in your lap! One minute you might feel helpless and that nothing is good is coming your way but it is…oh trust me, trust yourself, just trust and have faith that it is.

If it isn’t right now, soon your cup will be overflowing with happiness, goodness, joy, and an overwhelming sense of peace. It’s inevitable!

Today I feel my cup spilling over and there is more than enough to fill your cup as well. I don’t know what it is and to be quite honest I’m not worried about questioning it…I’m just letting today be. Maybe tomorrow will be different but what good is it going to do me to speculate? None…so I won’t!

Have a bountiful and fulfilling day!

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Truth Be With You!

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“Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.” – Henry David Thoreau

What a great way to live and be able to look at yourself in the mirror each day knowing that you have nothing to hide, be ashamed of or lie about throughout your daily encounters or endeavors. The quote above seems so simple yet there are so many that find being true along these lines a struggle.  My thought is that if you can simply abide by the “law” of truth, especially to yourself, you can rest easily knowing that you are on the right path.

Being true to your work is difficult to a degree in that many people are out to find financial gain rather than doing work they truly believe in or feel drawn to doing.  Often times, finding that great paying job is done so at the expense of another.  Honing in on that young Soldier outside a military base with pay-day loans so they can come in and get money to pay their bills without fully understanding that they are going to be charged 45% interest on whatever they are given.  I, for one, couldn’t feel good about that regardless of how much money the job, or lie, is putting in my pocket. The great thing is no one has to do that…it’s a choice! You can choose do something you love and you can make a living by following your passion.  It might not be easy, but it can be done and we can all make it happen.  As I like to say, “You can take others along for the ride with you!” And that can make all the difference in the world.

Additionally, your word is your bond.  Once you compromise that, it’s very hard to regain faith and confidence in those deceived. I learned this at a young age, as most of us do, through little untruths to my parents…nothing devastating but it just showed me that once I told them something that wasn’t the COMPLETE truth, it was just as bad as not telling the truth at all.  Being true to your word is almost, if not, the most important thing I can do in life. I can’t work, have relationships, be trusted, or even left alone to accomplish a small task if people don’t have faith that I am going to do what I say I will.  I admit that I have inadvertently slipped here and there by perhaps missing a meeting or something along those lines but it was definitely not with mal intent and I was honest about my reason…if I over slept, I said so, if I forgot, I said so, etc….It’s not always what people wanted to hear but it was the truth and though it may have been uncomfortable to come clean, I knew I had to so that’s exactly what I did!

Friends…I make sure I choose my friends wisely and if their values aren’t aligned with mine that doesn’t mean we can’t talk, it just means they might not be the best choice for me to spend too much time with of put too much into what they have to say.  “Friend” is a term used very loosely…I have my Facebook friends whom I may or may not have ever been very close with but like(d) and am interested in seeing what is going on with them from time to time and then I have the other extreme where I can count on them to drop whatever it is they are doing and come to help out if I just say the word, and the same goes for them.  Friends are a gift, a true gift, and should always be treated as such.

I know this is a bit lengthy but I ran across this quote today (as I’m a quote guy in case you can’t tell) and it really spoke to me.  You may have a different outlook on the words of Henry D. Thoreau which is great.  My hope is that that you got as much out of this short sentence as I did and that you have a blessed day!

Be True!

~ Brett

 

StayTrue