Home

Why Worry?

Leave a comment

Howdy folks! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog as I’ve been focusing more on my Step-Dad Diary site (www.stepdaddiary.com) which I hope you’ll take the time to check out.

Nevertheless, this topic has been on my heart recently so I thought I’d share as I’m sure many of you are in the same boat. The bottom line up front is that I’m a worrier! There are healthy levels of worry, I believe, but I think I walk the thin line of unhealthy worry.

With another child on the way I worry that I will be able to provide for my newborn throughout his years as have for my other biological son and two Step-Children (which I gladly do as their fathers don’t really step up to the plate all the time.)  I worry that my job might be gone tomorrow (which it always could as I manage a non-profit,) or that my wife and I won’t continue to grow old together and enjoy each other like we do now.

Financially, I know that we can make it one way or another through military retirement, taking on extra jobs if need be or whatever but those realistic facts don’t always sink in when I wish they would would.  Rather, I find myself letting negative thoughts or worst-case scenarios take control of my thoughts and when they take control of my thoughts they often take control of my mood which resinates throughout the home or everyone around me.

I try my best at all times to remain positive but we all get into a slump.  It’s when we get into that slump or “bad place” that we need to count on our friends, spouses, or loved ones to give us a little pat on the back and just say “you know what man, everything is going to be alright!”

It’s  so simple to do and we should look for others experiencing the same types of thoughts and support them.  In supporting them, it turns out to be a win-win situation in that we start to believe in ourselves as well.

Even writing about it, as I am clearly doing here, makes me feel better even though I doubt it will be seen by many.  Perhaps one person will be able to read it, relate, and know that things are always going to be fine.

Worrying does no good, what will be will be.  We can only be proactive and make the best decisions we think we can at any given time. If something unexpected bad happens we’ll deal with it when the time comes.

Wow…it’s nice to be able to have a venue to share this stuff.  I hope you always focus on the good and choose not to worry when there’s really nothing you can do about what MIGHT happen down the road!

In the meantime, take good care!worry

Juggling Life!

Leave a comment

JugglingLife

“Juggling work and parental responsibilities is no easy task, but I’m trying my  best and just like everything else there are good days and there are bad days.” – Ali Landry

There are so many things going on from day to day between family, work, obligations, hobbies, etc…that it’s often hard to manage everything at once.  I always hear that I need to set a list of priorities and work from there but that it difficult in itself.  For example; Quality time with my Kids and family need to be of the highest priority but how can I put that above going to work and fulfilling the needs of my job at the highest level possible.

Sometimes, that’s easy as the Kids are gone and I can focus solely on work (which sometimes requires me to develop presentations, attend functions, etc… on weekends) but that’s okay because the Kids may be gone, my Wife at work and me home alone to focus.  Other times that’s not as easy as I may have focus my efforts on the same types of task while my Kids are home looking for some quality time and attention. 

The bottom line is that it’s doable.  Doable in terms of “do what you can when you can do it!” Maybe I don’t have time to engage in my hobbies one day or week but that’s okay, there will be time at some point.  I had plenty of “free” time this weekend to do just that but I was feeling under the weather with a sore throat and sinus pain (seems to be going around recently…especially in my home!) That’s just life…and I couldn’t foresee that coming but it did and I dealt with it.  So rather than sit and bask in my facial misery, I watched a couple movies with the kids and even went so far as to start watching episodes of “Once Upon a Time” with my wife and Step-Daughter…pretty girly fairy tale series but we all seemed to enjoy it  nevertheless.  This isn’t our normal genre of flicks but we all kinda got into it and really enjoyed both the series on Netflix and the time we were spending together.  Zack was a little too “cool” to watch it with us but that’s understandable as he is 14 years old and a boy so I can’t blame him in the least.

There’s always so much going on in our home on a daily basis, especially during the week between dance classes, football practice and games, work, doctors’ appointments, household chores, etc…that it really is difficult to set a list of priorities.  It really does take some mastery of juggling these things but above all, working as a team with Lisa to make it all happen is essential.

Perhaps setting a list of priorities at the beginning of each day is more beneficial than trying to set an ongoing list that stands firm.  Values are something that don’t have change such as service, ethics, manners, God, love, etc… but maybe setting a daily priority task is better than trying to set a priority task and leaving it alone.  Maybe I can set a list of priorities for a few days or even a week but they might need some tweaking or adjusting as the time goes by…we’ll see because that’s what I am going to try and do! 

I know one “priority” that doesn’t require me juggling, just requires me to ease up a bit (as I know I’ve said before) in my own home is to stop being so “knit-picky”…that’s really not going over so well and I know I should save that sort of stuff for when I really need to “bust it out” otherwise it might not be quite as effective!

Anyway, happy “Mastering” your juggling Step-Dads! Let me know how it all works out for you or if you have any advice for The Step-Dad in training! Hit me at brett@stepdaddiary.com .

 I’ve been doing my best to keep the spam emails and comments down so I moderate them all before they’re posted but rest assured…if something good comes along, I’ll be sure to re-post or share accordingly!

Share the Load!

Leave a comment

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne

It’s that the truth! Lean over to pick up 25 pounds and you just might hurt your back to a great degree. If you squat, grab that same load, and stand straight you then you’ll likely end up with no problems at all. Funny how that all works!

The bottom line is that it’s not necessarily the task at hand that can wear you out either physically or mentally, but how you choose to either handle or in some cases, not handle it!

We all have burdens, trials, tasks, and otherwise that we are either responsible for on a daily basis or that may pop up out of the blue and strike us from the blind side. Often times we take these battles full on or without asking for help and overwhelm ourselves to the extent that we feel lost or even helpless. We sometimes tend to carry with us unnecessary weight that we just don’t need or can handle alone.

Why not stop, see what’s wearing on us or beating us down, think of alternate means of addressing the issue at hand, ask for help when we need it and break adversities down into small, more manageable tasks or “chunks”…smaller more “light” loads seems to be a great way to carry the “bigger” heavier and potentially damaging load or burden you may be facing.

For example, maybe you’re practicing or preparing for a 10 mile run. In the past the furthest you’ve run without stopping may have been 5 miles. So, rather than go straight from 5 to 10 miles (which you would likely not be able to accomplish with ease) you decide to start early and build your stamina 1.5 miles at a time. You run 5 miles for a while…kick it up a notch to 6.5 miles for a couple runs, then 8…then 9.5 or even 10 and keep on going.

You get the point. Don’t be overwhelmed by looking at a single task without seeing how you can break it down into more small, manageable tasks that won’t be such of a trial. I have found that in trying to manage one large task that I might fail in the accomplishment of that mission, at least the first time, and though I like to get back up and try again it was a little disheartening to fail the first time.

Over time I have become unashamed to ask for help of take small steps to get a job done…sort of the “crawl, walk, run” theme we so often hear about and it seems to work out great!

Give it a shot! Just a thought!

crawl-walk-run-fly

Truth Be With You!

Leave a comment

“Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.” – Henry David Thoreau

What a great way to live and be able to look at yourself in the mirror each day knowing that you have nothing to hide, be ashamed of or lie about throughout your daily encounters or endeavors. The quote above seems so simple yet there are so many that find being true along these lines a struggle.  My thought is that if you can simply abide by the “law” of truth, especially to yourself, you can rest easily knowing that you are on the right path.

Being true to your work is difficult to a degree in that many people are out to find financial gain rather than doing work they truly believe in or feel drawn to doing.  Often times, finding that great paying job is done so at the expense of another.  Honing in on that young Soldier outside a military base with pay-day loans so they can come in and get money to pay their bills without fully understanding that they are going to be charged 45% interest on whatever they are given.  I, for one, couldn’t feel good about that regardless of how much money the job, or lie, is putting in my pocket. The great thing is no one has to do that…it’s a choice! You can choose do something you love and you can make a living by following your passion.  It might not be easy, but it can be done and we can all make it happen.  As I like to say, “You can take others along for the ride with you!” And that can make all the difference in the world.

Additionally, your word is your bond.  Once you compromise that, it’s very hard to regain faith and confidence in those deceived. I learned this at a young age, as most of us do, through little untruths to my parents…nothing devastating but it just showed me that once I told them something that wasn’t the COMPLETE truth, it was just as bad as not telling the truth at all.  Being true to your word is almost, if not, the most important thing I can do in life. I can’t work, have relationships, be trusted, or even left alone to accomplish a small task if people don’t have faith that I am going to do what I say I will.  I admit that I have inadvertently slipped here and there by perhaps missing a meeting or something along those lines but it was definitely not with mal intent and I was honest about my reason…if I over slept, I said so, if I forgot, I said so, etc….It’s not always what people wanted to hear but it was the truth and though it may have been uncomfortable to come clean, I knew I had to so that’s exactly what I did!

Friends…I make sure I choose my friends wisely and if their values aren’t aligned with mine that doesn’t mean we can’t talk, it just means they might not be the best choice for me to spend too much time with of put too much into what they have to say.  “Friend” is a term used very loosely…I have my Facebook friends whom I may or may not have ever been very close with but like(d) and am interested in seeing what is going on with them from time to time and then I have the other extreme where I can count on them to drop whatever it is they are doing and come to help out if I just say the word, and the same goes for them.  Friends are a gift, a true gift, and should always be treated as such.

I know this is a bit lengthy but I ran across this quote today (as I’m a quote guy in case you can’t tell) and it really spoke to me.  You may have a different outlook on the words of Henry D. Thoreau which is great.  My hope is that that you got as much out of this short sentence as I did and that you have a blessed day!

Be True!

~ Brett

 

StayTrue

No One is Useless

1 Comment

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” – Charles Dickens

So I ran across this quote today and what perfect timing! Not that I was feeling useless but it made me feel good to know that simple things that can help others get through rough times can make even the person who has nothing “material” to offer can help another in so many ways.

From that person who feels so down on themselves because they don’t have that “special someone” to get flowers from on Valentine’s Day or a mother (or father) who is crying because she feels like she is not doing the perfect thing at the perfect time…we can all make a difference with a few kind words, a pat on the back or some simple advice.

We can also help the elderly neighbor take the trash can to the side of the road, open the door for someone who either needs help or doesn’t. That simple, yet kind gesture can, and just may, make all the difference in the world to another person. Likewise, doing these acts can make us feel good and help us make it through a tough day or week knowing that we helped someone.
Lifting up another person helps them, and in turn, helps us so it’s definitely a win-win situation.

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum recently and feel great. We all deserve to feel great and have the ability to do so whenever we make the choice!

~ Brett

20130214-181122.jpg

Delving into the Unknown

1 Comment

“If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t.” – Chuck Palahniuk

What do you want? That’s the question that resonates in my mind when I read the quotation I ran across above. The answer for me was simple…I want to be happy serving Veterans (as I am a Veteran) and make their transition from the regimented Military life to the civilian workforce less difficult for them than it was for me. At the same time I want do so in a manner that will allow me to support myself and that’s quite a challenge especially in the non-profit arena where I currently Serve.

So while the answer to the question that arose seemed rather simple, the method or approach to my desires is not quite as easy. I love my current work and will not leave unless asked to do so by my employer but think I can do even more, perhaps on the side, in an entrepreneurial status.

Yes, I have unique ideas that would be ridiculous to divulge in a public venue such as this but that will require extra time, perhaps a bit of my own finances to get started but of probably even more importance, time away or “removed” (at least mentally) from my family. So, that’s clearly a lot to weigh out and there is no set scale to do so.

I think each individual has to place a level of importance on each aspect of their own lives before making a plunge and “Delving into the Unknown” because, lets face it making major changes and embarking on a new venture is definitely diving into unknown waters!

Sometimes you need to take risks to accomplish and get what you want, otherwise you might, just might, “end up with a whole lot of what you don’t!”

Until next time…PEACE!

20130128-195243.jpg

%d bloggers like this: